My nights during this last month or so have been quite crappy: fragmented sleep, getting up many times at night, weariness, nagging thoughts and exhaustion from crying myself out. These last 3 days were even worse, but also better in a sense, as the pain I went through was necessary to get back on the road I've decided to take. I am extremely grateful to my 2 best friends for listening to me and standing beside me, come what may.
Some quotes which are especially relevant right now:
"A broken promise hurts as much as a lie. You don't just make them believe, you also make them hope."
"When you really matter to someone, that person will always find a way to make time for you; no excuses, no lies, no broken promises."
"A clear rejection is always better than a fake promise."
"Actions do speak louder than words and promises mean nothing without proof."
"No relationship can be built on lies and mistrust; it must have a solid foundation of honesty, compromise and commitment."
Long story short, I've been interested in a girl for around 2 months, but there was always the nagging question of whether she wanted me too. So it became a protracted affair of meeting in groups, sometimes just the 2 of us (less frequently than I would have liked), and plenty of uncertainties. 3 days ago, I sent a text that forced the issue, and I was prepared to face the consequences. Summarising the main points:
-If a person has no interest in being my partner, I don't want to hear phrases like 'miss you', especially if I already want her to myself. It only builds false hope, and that hurts in a horrible manner.
-The time I spend in the company of a girl who is not interested in me is simply time I could have spent with another who would be. I've grown too weary of being strung along, just because another person cannot communicate a clear yes/no. With time being my most prized resource, I don't want to linger in limbo knowing it could well be all for nothing.
-Honesty, directness and being open are the keys to simple, effective communication. They also result in less heartbreak.
-Not everyone seems to have a clear idea of what they want in life. Sometimes it's just a matter of the other having different wants/needs than I do. Either way, it's not enough for just one of the parties to be happy with the situation if the other one ends up feeling down in the dumps.
Parting quote: "Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option". (and I know my own worth too well to settle for this kind of nonsense behaviour)
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